Former President Obama admits his White House years left him in a “deep deficit” with Michelle, who once said she “couldn’t stand” him for a decade.
Get the full story of their marriage struggles, honest reflections, and how they make it work.
“I was in a deep deficit with my wife,” the 63-year-old confessed during a conversation with Hamilton College President Steven Tepper, acknowledging the strain caused by his back-to-back terms from 2009 to 2017.
The 44th president described his ongoing efforts to repair their relationship: “I’ve been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things.” This admission builds on his May 2023 remarks, where he noted how leaving the White House helped:
“It sure helps to be out of that environment and have more time with her,” while praising Michelle’s forgiveness of his shortcomings.
Michelle Obama, 61, has matched her husband’s candor with her revelations. In December 2022, the former First Lady shocked many by admitting she “couldn’t stand” Barack for an entire decade while raising their daughters Malia (now 26) and Sasha (23).
“I’m not being catty by saying this,” she clarified, offering a raw perspective on marriage: “It isn’t 50/50 — ever, ever. There are times I’m 70, he’s 30. Times he’s 60, I’m 40. But ten tough years out of thirty? I’d take that.”
The couple’s willingness to discuss their challenges comes amid persistent divorce rumors, mainly after Barack attended several high-profile events alone this year, including former President Jimmy Carter’s funeral.
Insiders dismiss these speculations, explaining that Michelle has “checked out” of Washington’s political life.
“They don’t pretend to have some Camelot relationship,” a source familiar with the couple told Page Six. “Their authenticity makes them remarkable — they’re not trying to sell a fairytale.”
Michelle has previously addressed how she handles public scrutiny of her marriage, revealing last month:
“I’m fairly certain I’ve never looked at a comment section.” Her advice? “You cannot live through social media. Don’t let that negative energy into your space. These people don’t know you — so much is fabricated.”
As the Obamas approach their 31st wedding anniversary this October, their revelations offer a powerful counter-narrative to political power-couple myths, presenting instead a portrait of enduring love that survives through honesty, forgiveness, and the willingness to work through difficult seasons together.
